Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Rules of the Red Rubber Ball by Kevin Carroll

Carroll came from nothing, but became the head athletic coach for the Philadelphia 76ers and later a leader in creativity at Nike. He shares how some teachers helped him, and how others did not. He walks us through the process of rediscovering what drives us. Get a copy right now for yourself and keep a copy in your class for your kids to read. Our team just read it, and despite a 3:30am start to my day to catch an early flight, I’m excited. I’m excited to discover my red rubber ball today.

Angela Mayfield

http://www.relevantclassroom.com/blog/post/rules-of-the-red-rubber-ball

Well that was the challenge we were set last week by Bernadette Doyle on the Client Magnets LEAP Retreat.

We were given 72 hours and our goal was to generate at least £800 – the amount needed by a local charity group “The Spirit of Enniskillen” to complete a community project.

And we were not allowed to write out personal cheques.  Now some might think “impossible”, or “that’s difficult”, maybe even “I need more time”.  Fortunately the spirit of the LEAPers is different.  We took on the challenge.

So the first step, generate ideas.  For our group of eleven entrepreneurs all ideas count; every thought a possibility; discount nothing.  And from these ideas – what could we do, what is possible?  The focus was on the goal not the obstacles.  Within 15 minutes we’d settled on the idea – to share the top money tips from around the group.  Do what you know and what you do well.

Step two – offer it out.  Many people have a lot to offer but simply don’t ask.  We’d produce our 45 minute recording at the end of the retreat, so we could share what we’ve learned personally about money.  So next was to let people know; everyone we could think of who might want to know how to make money and make money work for them.  So we reached out to those who already know us (by phone, email, Twitter, LinkedIn, all the social media we know).

Step three – to make the recording.  We had limited equipment and only a small amount of time.  We made this our advantage.  We only needed one laptop to record what we had to say and the time available meant we said exactly what was important to us at the time.  It was spontaneous and personal.

And the result – we create a new product from nothing in 1-2 hours.  From the initial challenge to being available to the public.  And we exceeded our target.  The Spirit of Enniskillen continues its magic.

Put another way, burying our heads in the sand on things we don’t enjoy doesn’t
make them go away, does it?

Consider it as your choice.  You choose to put things off; and you sign up for backlog and frustration; along with any stress from not feeling in control, that you create as a consequence.

So for a moment consider, what are the consequences:

• If I don’t know what’s in my bank account?
• If I don’t manage my business diary better?
• If I over promise and under deliver?
• If I fail to return phone calls or messages?
• If I don’t take better care of my mind and body?

For every decision you make, there are consequences.  We somehow assume that procrastinating allows us to put off making a decision.  In fact, that is a decision in itself and it has consequences.  So you’re not putting off making a decision; you’re just making a different decision and choosing to accept the
consequences.

Remember that any of the consequences you face by putting things off, CAN BE overcome with planning ahead, delegating work and taking a different approach.  Decide what YOU are going to do and acknowledge that you are doing these tasks because you have chosen to.

So pay attention to your gut-feel.  It is the seat of your intuition and our gut always tells us what we need to pay attention on.  It’s just that we’re often so busy we ignore the signs.

And decide to do something different about the situation you face.

Acting on impulse is fine – indeed a certain advert suggests it leads to amazing results!  Impulse suggests that we act on our instincts, our feelings, our heart.
These (gut) feelings are very real and take account of our previous experiences, as well as our values and beliefs.  Yet because this happens unconsciously, sometimes our logical, thinking brain is unable to understand how we’ve come to that conclusion.

So writing things down helps to make this more conscious – so we can make a decision based on our unconscious and conscious thinking.

Take an A4 sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle.  Label the left column PROs and the right hand column CONS.

Write the issue or situation that you face at the top of the page.

Block time out in your diary to brainstorm the question and freely write your comments in both columns. Avoid censoring or editing your answers.

When you think you have finished and have nothing else to write, now go and do something different and revisit your paperwork in a few hours time.

Read the columns thoroughly. Use a coloured highlighter to show what really resonates with you now in the columns against the question.

If you are a fan of mind maps you might want to create a mind map for the
question too. Check out www.tonybuzan.com for more guidance.

In short, it is the self discipline to give yourself time and space to evaluate opportunities that counts and you can be sure you will make better decisions because of this.

I find all this confusing.

Respect is a feeling which each
of us has.

It is a response to something
someone does or says.  It is not
something we should demand, as if it were a right.

I do believe that we should
respect other people and their views.
This is a personal choice.  I
believe that because it’s a useful belief.
If I respect others, I will understand their views, their position
better.

I do not expect their
respect.  Perhaps I will earn
their respect, but I have no right to expect it.

So if you see yourself as a
leader in any sense (in your business, your community, even your family) your
actions and behaviour will determine whether you are respected.  It’s really as simple as that.

And if you feel a lack of respect – remember that is YOUR
feeling.  You do not have to respond in
that way.  So guard YOUR self-respect and
remember it is a gift that firstly YOU can give.

Don’t just take my word for it.

Ghandi said, “They cannot take away our self respect if
we do not give it to them”.

And less well known for his philosophy
on life, but Bruce Willis sang:

If you disrespect everybody

That you run into

How in the world do you think

Anybody ‘sposed to respect you

Respect yourself.

HOW DO I CHOOSE?

HOW DO I MAKE DECISIONS?

I firmly believe that our life is a consequence of the decisions we
make.  If we want to see different results, we need to make different
decisions.

It’s not rocket science, but way too many people seem stuck, doing the
same things because that’s what they’ve always done, often complaining or
frustrated that they’re getting the same unsatisfactory results.

Many of us are conditioned these days to cram as much into our day as
possible.  Busy, busy, busy.  This behavior
soon takes hold of us and before we know it, years have passed before something
happens to make us look up, take stock and grow accountability.
Technology has a lot to answer for in so many ways.  Sure, it is an
amazing tool and has transformed the way we access information, do business and
communicate.  Yet not all for the better.  People in business life
are often getting 100s of emails a day, more messages on Linked In and
Facebook, tweets … there’s no end to the amount of social media.  Yet we
seem to have stopped talking to colleagues and customers, preferring to send
emails instead.  Working life was always a challenge in doing what the job
required.  Now we have information
overload.  As Blackberries and iphones have
become part of our social world, work encroaches increasingly on our relaxation
time.  With this overload, we never switch off our brain to relax.
We simply can’t cope with what we have.

So is it the fault of society or technology for where our lives are
today?

If you think so, I encourage you to Stop it! Right now!

The brutal fact is that you and I have a choice.  And if we all harness a greater sense of
healthy self-respect with a whack of self-control, we can all manage our time
differently, in ways that support us as humans and benefit our business lives
too.

Take a moment to think about some of your communications last
week.  How many times did you email someone instead of walking to their
desk or instead of picking up the telephone?  How much time did you then
spend (and waste) waiting for the answers you required?

How many times did you send an email just so you felt you were being
busy?  How many times did you “reply to
all”, sending unnecessary messages which simply clog up other peoples in-boxes?

Is that really an efficient way to work or live?

So, how do you choose how to act or behave differently?

Firstly, acknowledge your desire to change your situation.  Is it real – in a word can you be
bothered?  Decide that something needs to
be done and you need to do it.

Secondly, be open to new ways of doing everything in your life.

Thirdly, grow your accountability muscle and tenacity to see changes
through.  Schedule reminders to make sure
that you follow-up on the things you need to do.  Make a commitment to other people.  Maybe ask someone to keep checking in with
you whether you’ve done what you said.

If your goal is to spend more time – and quality time – on the areas of
your life that really matter to you, become a seeker of choice and
change.  Now.

“a place where there is a manageable amount of discomfort and where the emotions are heightened.”

We tend to think of emotions and feelings as good or bad.  Happiness good, sadness bad.  Excitement good, fear bad.

Yet by thinking this way we may seek to avoid ‘bad’ feelings.

If they were bad, surely we wouldn’t have evolved them.  They must have evolved to serve a useful purpose.  Perhaps that purpose is to help us learn?

For example, if I hit or trap my thumb doing something around the house.  At the time, there’s a physical pain together with other emotions – maybe anger directed at yourself or even the inanimate object we bumped into!

Over time, as the bruising fades, then the emotion changes too.  As we think back to what we did, we no longer feel anger.  Perhaps we even smile, thinking “how could I?”  Our emotions around certain events can and do change.  That seems the case even for more traumatic events.  Being able to subconsciously learn something useful from the experience seems to enable us to let go of certain emotions.  My experience using Time Line Therapy for myself and with clients, has shown this to work effectively in this way.

So I would like to encourage you to consider our emotions as neither good not bad, but instead simply that you feel “negative” emotions as a way of learning from the situation.

Notice exactly what you feel.  Consider what you need to learn from the situation to let go of the feeling and move on.  That way, we never stop learning.

It’s the way we think that restricts us.

Over the years, many seemingly impossible boundaries have been broken – things we thought were impossible – until someone who thought otherwise, did it.

The four-minute mile is a classic example.

When Roger Bannister ran the first 4-minute mile in 1954, within weeks, many more people did the same.  Not because they had suddenly become physically faster, but because they now believed it was possible.  The barrier was broken and so they achieved it too.

The power of our thinking has an enormous impact on our lives.

Put simply, when we begin to think differently our outcomes are affected.  Our emotions change; our behaviour changes; and the results we get change.

That’s what you can do.  You can CHOOSE to shift your thinking and change your life.

Author, Jim Collins, wrote the book “Good to Great” where he described leaders who developed long term great businesses.  He said, “Greatness is not a function of circumstance.  Greatness is largely a matter of conscious choice and discipline.”

I like to spread this message as it’s totally in line with our Red Rubber Ball Coaching philosophy.

You have a choice over how you

• THINK
• FEEL
• ACT

Pay attention what you creating in your life in relation to how you think, feel and then act.

Be smart.  Notice when things are off kilter, when things are not working out as you’d like – what are you thinking about the situation?  What do you need to begin thinking, that will begin to give you a different result?

It encourages us to take action to change a situation that’s not working: to take action to get a different result.

What do you feel like when you read that?  What emotion does it bring up for you?

For some, the idea of personal responsibility sits with them like a weight, a burden.

For others, and certainly the way we see it, is that personal responsibility is a healthy choice.  We become empowered because we are not replying on others to meet our needs, however basic or big these needs are.  It simply isn’t up to others to make our lives run smoother. If we consciously delegate this we will not be happy.

Consider for a moment – if you take responsibility for causing/creating a situation, it means you can do something to change a similar situation in the future and gives you the courage, confidence and personal power to even apologise for the role you played in an awkward situation.

In this day and age the art of manners and etiquette in business life is sadly eroding.

Here’s a healthy challenge for you:

Identify a recent situation where things didn’t go the way you’d hoped.  In what way did YOU to play the blame game?  Think carefully what role did you play in the outcome?

You see, it is absolutely going to be the case that when you’re not getting the results you want, you can choose to blame other things or other people, or consider how you contributed to that outcome.

So consider what are you not taking responsibility for and what are you are gaining by not taking responsibility?  Maybe your letting yourself off the hook, for things you could have done but didn’t?

Decide how you can handle those situations differently and act on it.  Maybe speak to other people concerned, acknowledge how you could have handled your part differently and what you’ll do differently from now on.

You’ll be amazed how such humility and grace has a positive and powerful ripple effect for your well-being and standing, and on the performance of those around you.  Jim Collins in the business classic “Good to Great” describes great leaders as displaying “Professional Will and Personal Humility”.  Remember the humility.